What are we waiting for?

In today's society, many people make New Years Resolutions, wanting to make changes to their lives.  Sometimes we work to make those resolutions a reality, other times those resolutions go by the wayside.  Many times when we don't make good on our resolutions, we wonder why we weren't successful.  It is then that we often ask why we weren't successful.

What are we waiting for when we don't succeed?

Sometimes we're waiting for someone else to do it for us.  Sometimes we want it to be easier than it actually is.

What are we waiting for?  Why is it so hard for us to understand that nobody else can make what we want for ourselves happen?  Why do we like to blame others for our own failures?  Why do we want things to be easy?

It isn't always someone else's fault when you fail at something.  Most of the time it's your own fault when you fail.  Life isn't easy, and if life was easy, success wouldn't be nearly as enjoyable.  We're waiting for something better to come our way without working for it.

This past year I realized that there are times when life is hard, times when life is overwhelming, times when life is enjoyable, times when things come easily, and time when everything seems hard.  The times when things were tough made the good times better.  Being overwhelmed by a situation wasn't all bad--that's when I seemed to find that my creative streak would come out.

At some point we need to stop waiting, and start doing.  In starting to do, even when it is tough, we learn and grow.  It is then that we enjoy the good and the things that come easily.

What are we waiting for?

What I Noticed

I recently was re-reading my journal entries from my time at SpringHill this summer and noticed something.  Here's what I wrote in some of those journal entries.

7/20/15

You don't have to have it all together.  It's okay to be a mess and show it.  Let God work in you, cleaning your insides.

7/22/15

God waited to make me a crew chief until now for a reason.  He wanted me to be ready.

7/26/15

God wanted me with these two weekers for a reason.  He wants me to teach them, and wants them to teach and challenge me.  Go will speak through me to these kids.  I may be the planter.  I may be the one that harvests.

These two weeks will be memorable.  Go will work in and through me.

7/30/15

"I seek the work of your hands."

8/1/15

"Just take the first step."

8/3/15

"The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; He restores my should.  He leads me in right paths for his names sake."  Psalm 23:1-3

Do you see yourself as a new creation in God?

Are you paying more attention to how you look, or what is going on on the inside?

8/4/15

What's next will be very different.

8/9/15

Can you see God when you are in crisis?

8/21/15

Out of his anguish, he shall see light; he shall find satisfaction through his knowledge.  The righteous one, my servant, shall make many righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities.  Isaiah 53:11

What I noticed through all of my journal entries this summer was that I kept writing about how God was still working on me, and that even when I felt like a complete mess, it was okay.  After all, God had to be doing something in and through me when I was a mess.

Then I noticed that I also kept writing that God had planned to have me wait until the last couple of weeks of camp to be a crew chief for a reason, that that he had had a plan for me since before I was even born.

From there, I wrote about taking the first step forward and the fact that God wanted the work of my hands.  I also got to thinking about how before this past summer at SpringHill, I didn't think so much about what was going on internally and what God was telling me.

What I've come to realize is that God wanted me back at SpringHill this past summer for a reason.  He wanted to challenge me and show me a hint of some of the skills He had given me.  I still remember hearing God tell me that whatever was next was going to be very different.  The thing about thinking about hearing God say that to me, I now am beginning to understand why what was next for me was so different.  Going from camp to working for an after school programing to cooking for a bunch of people in an assisted living facility has been a big change.  Cooking at an assisted living facility had been so different, yet very rewarding.  God has challenged me in this new position, and has continued teaching me.

Getting to know the residents I work with five days a week has been so rewarding, especially when I've been able to get to know a resident and solve a problem or help that resident in some way.  There have been the rough days at work, but the great thing about those rough days is that I've been able to trust God to get me through those days and see Him at work in me so that these residents can see him through me.

SpringHill High

If there is one thing that so many people talk about when they talk about SpringHill is the SpringHill high.  The SpringHill high is real.  So many people I know have experienced it.  The thing about the SpringHill high is that when you experience it, you don't want it to end.

It was during my first summer working at SpringHill that I experienced the SpringHill high and experienced what it was like to loose that high.  So many times I heard the high school campers say that they wanted to have this thing called the SpringHill high continue on after they returned home.

Here's the thing about the SpringHill high: when you go off to SpringHill and spend so much time worshiping, praying, and reading the Bible something amazing happens.  You realize just how great that relationship that you can have with God can be.  It is when you go back home, and have to keep all of that up without the culture of spending time in prayer and in the word, that you realize just how hard it can be do do these things in a world where doing these things isn't something that everyone does.  I know that after the summer of 2014 I found myself struggling as much time in prayer or in the word.

It was during the beginning of August 2015, I took another step forward.  I was baptized at SpringHill, which was a big thing for me.  Being re-born--being made new--felt so good.  The thing that I still remember Todd saying to me was that in being baptized you are made new but that you also are giving all of your talents over to God and allowing him to work through you and your talents.

In coming home from SpringHill this past summer, I had learned to trust God's plan for me.  It wasn't long before God was working in my life again.  This time God was throwing me into a new job where I would get to work with middle and high schoolers after school.  I had no idea that I wouldn't work in that position for very long due to a better job offer from an assisted living facility.  The crazy thing about the things that I have experienced since returning home from camp is that it became clear to me that the SpringHill high would continue for longer than it did last year.

It's not always easy finding the time or the discipline to spend time in prayer or in the word.  But when you do, that sense of belonging, the relationship with God, continues to grow.

What Really Matters

At some point in life, many people ask something along the lines of "Does what I am doing really matter?".  I got to thinking about this today at church and thought that I would share some of those thoughts.

Many times, the smallest things change our lives in ways we never thought our life would change having experienced that simple moment.

Looking back at my life, there are those simple things that I can point to as things that changed my life.  There was a whole series of simple things that happened during a single week at Stony Lake Lutheran Camp during the summer of 2002 that changed my life quite a bit.  If it hadn't been for that week, I don't think I would have the relationship with God that I now have, or would have ever considered working at a summer camp.  If not for that week I might not have spent two summers working at Wisconsin Badger Camp or two summers working at SpringHill camps Michigan overnight location.

Ordinary people are serving in Jesus' name and most of us never notice people doing it.

I know I don't always notice it when someone is doing their job, not because it's their job, but because it's something that they hear Jesus calling them to do.  What would happen if we all did this?  What could the world achieve if we did this?

So many times we get caught up in what our denomination of Christianity says about certain acts, certain people, about what the world wants out of us.

We don't always think about what God would say to us when we judge people because they are gay, because they got divorced, because they are transgender, because they cheated on their spouse, because they had an abortion, or because they are aiming to get things that are worldly and not what God would want us to aim for.

You might find it hard to believe that Jesus loves us all, despite our sins, our shortcomings, and all the things we do that he would rather us not do even when we don't realize we are doing those things.

You might find it hard to believe that God loves each and every one of us.

So what matters the most to you?  Why do the thing(s) that you say matter the most to you matter to you?

You are Loved

Looking back at this past summer at SpringHill, I can believe the number of things that I came to realize during those eight weeks.  Looking back at what I wrote here, on this blog, during the summer there are several things that stick out to me.

On July 6 I wrote about something that I had experienced during that day.  I had come to realize that God was working on me.  I was beginning to let go of a few things and allow God to turn me into the person that he wants me to be.

What I now realize was that, during that week, I was learning to love myself in the state that I am in as God loves me in this state.  Realizing that God loves you in such a unique way, and beginning to see yourself the way God sees you makes a huge difference in your life.

On July 25 I wrote: 

I have no idea who my kids will be, or what they will be like these next two weeks, but I do know that whatever happens, it will be an amazing experience that I will never forget.  I am also certain that God waited until now to make me a crew chief for a reason.  Whatever the reason, I'm sure that I will learn so much.

During those two weeks I began to understand God's love for us through falling in love with the campers I worked with.  I loved them as a parent would, even when they got on my nerves or tested me.  Looking back on my time as a counselor I can now tell that God was teaching me more about love during the experience of being a counselor.  During that time, I got a small taste of what it means to love a group of kids the way a parent does.  I realized just how much I can personally love a group of kids that I looked at as my own.

Throughout quite a bit of the summer, this is what my left wrist looked like:

Since the summer ended, I took the bracelet off, turned it around, and put it back on.  Through my time at SpringHill, I looked at that bracelet and was reminded that God loves more than I can ever understand.  Now when I look down at the bracelet, I remember that, but I also remember the campers that I came into contact with this summer, and I remember that I need to pass the love that I have experienced and am experiencing on to others.

There is one last thing that I wrote during the summer that I shared in an earlier post here, but wanted to share again.  On July 26 I wrote something in my journal that still sticks out to me.  I wrote:

God wants me to be...

Caring
Compassionate
Loving
Present
Listening
Loving
Trusting
Giving
Joyful in all I do

...during these next two weeks.

What I now realize is that when I wrote this in my journal, I was thinking about the time that I was going to spend as a crew chief.  I hadn't realized that these were things that I could do throughout the rest of my life, even after camp is over and I am working a job or two and living on my own.

The amazing thing is that I have already found myself doing some of the things on that list from my journal in my job at The Rock here in Midland.

I may not know if I'll be going back to work at a summer camp again, but I know that wherever I end up in the next several years, I want to continue writing about what life throws at me here.  It's fun to look back at previous posts and remember what I was feeling, experiencing, and thinking about at that time.  From what I've heard from one good friend of mine, this past summer I seemed to write things that stuck out to her mother when she read my latest post(s).

Maybe this is one of several ways God planned for me to reach out and touch other peoples lives.

Moving On

Heading back to the real world after camp isn't always easy.  You've just spent two plus months working hard at our job where you gave a bunch of children an amazing week at camp, and now you're back in the real world.  You might be heading back to school.  You might be looking for a new job.  You might be going back to a school year type position, like teaching or an after school program job.  It is then that you realize just how hard you worked, but how much you loved your job at camp.

As someone who has worked at summer camps for four summers straight, I know what this is like.  After my second summer of working at camp, I can remember asking myself two questions that I think many people who work summers at a camp have asked themselves at some point.

How do you pick up the threads of an old life?  How do you go on?

How does a person pick up like in the real world after having spent a summer working at camp?  How does one process what they experienced at camp, and find themselves okay with not being at camp and with their camp family?

What I've realized since asking myself those questions is that change is what challenges us and helps us become better people.  Looking back at some of the things I wrote shortly after getting home from camp in 2013, I found something that I wrote that sticks out to me now, as I start a new job, post camp.

I wrote:

"We don't know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice we have."

This sticks out to me as I look back on this summer spent working at SpringHill.  I hadn't realized just how much strength the people I worked with at SpringHill, or I for that matter, had until I thought about it on my way home.  We dealt with homesick, and emotionally draining campers.  We made thousands of meals.  We ran so many activities.  We built countless campfires, sang so many camp songs.  We loved each other and our campers, even when it was hard.  We gave of ourselves to give the campers a week or two that they would never forget.  Sometimes we dealt with injuries.  We made a difference in childrens lives.  We all experienced ups and downs.  That's what made the staff a family who loved and supported each other, even when we got on each others nerves.

If you're one of those people who have finished a summer working at a camp, don't forget what you learned or experienced this summer.  Always keep those things with you.  You never know when you'll be interviewed for a job after college by someone that worked at the same camp as you did, but was there a couple years before you were.  You never know when you'll run into a camper that will recognize you and be so excited to see a face that they remember from camp.

I hope that people employers recognize that working at camp for a summer IS a real job.  We mange behavior, feed kids, make kids smile, help kids see their own potential.  I hope they see that people who have worked at camp see people with a considerable number of skills, and the ability to pick new skills up in a moment.  People who have worked at camps will look back at their time working at camp as a time when they grew, learned, and had a blast growing and learning.  I hope that employees seriously consider former camp staff as new employees.

I hope that all you camp people are adjusting to life away from camp, yet are staying in contact with their camp friends.

Final Hours at Camp

I've been home for just over one week, and am finally adjusted to being around the real world again.  I'm still trying to figure out the whole job situation, but have already had a few interviews.  Hopefully one of these interviews will lead to a job of some sort.

I was thinking back to my final hours on camp, and the things that I experienced there during that time.  I wanted to share some of those experiences now.

Those of us that stayed on Friday night and through Saturday morning enjoyed dinner at burger island.  It was fun to just hang out and not have to worry about anything other than enjoying each others company.  I still remember standing with one of the TST Ads named Madison.  Both of us were a bit worn out and considering going back to the cabins that we would be staying in that night.  Neither of us really felt like going to the water slide that night with a bunch of people.  I still remember walking back to our cabins together, and feeling right at home not having to say a single word.

That night, after having had some down time, a bunch of the TST staff went to the fireplace under the New Frontiers dinning hall to make s'mores and do breaking bread.  For a long time, we all just hung out there sharing the things we appreciated about each other.  I hadn't realized that my joy had touched so much of the TST staffs lives.  It was good to know that, even though I didn't get to spend much time with the kids most of the summer, that the TST crew chiefs (aka counselors) appreciated.

On Saturday morning before leaving camp, I took another step in my own faith.  As a child I was baptized, and in middle school I went through confirmation.  Through both of those things, I didn't consider what either of those milestones was something I wanted to do because I believed in God.  I did it because I thought it's what my parents would want.  In the past eight months, plus the two months at SpringHill last summer, I came to a place where I wanted to be re-baptized as a way of symbolizing the way that I have become new in Christ since my arrival at SpringHill in June 2014.

Here's a couple photos from my baptism: