Post Spring Hill

"If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudging, and it will be given to you."  James 1:5

I've never had all of the answers to the questions I've asked myself and others.  Yet this past summer and more recently I've realized that there are so many times when I don't need to know the full answer, but just part of it.

This past summer, as I worked at Spring Hill, there were times when I didn't have all the answers even though I really wanted all the answers.

That last weekend on camp was one of the roughest couple days I had had in a long time.  For once those were rough days, not because of something I had said or done, but because I didn't have or know the answers to the questions I was asking.  At the beginning of the summer, I was beginning to spend time wondering and asking when that first "romantic" relationship would happen.  By the last weekend at camp, I was asking what was next for me when it came to a job, when I would finally gain independence, and why it was taking me so long to figure out where I belonged.

Early in the summer, one of the campers wrote something on my paper plate award about having wisdom, which is part of why I put the quote from James as a part of this post.

Looking back at that paper plate award and the week leading up to it, I realized that throughout that week, God was working through me without me even realizing it.

There were other weeks that I found myself frequently asking God for the knowledge of how to help a camper, or what to say to a camper.  I frequently found myself giving of myself whenever I could.

I still remember sitting at a campfire pit that last Saturday night at camp, praying, and trying to understand what was next.  I still remember not getting a response from God that was obvious until a doe and her two children walked past me.  Those deer stopped for a moment to check me out, and continued walking along their way.  I still remember realizing in that moment that God was trying to tell me to be at peace with where I was in life at that moment.

That same day, a co-worker had told me that sometimes God remains silent so that we take the first step before he starts working in our lives.

Since starting work here at Camp Pillsbury, I've discovered that I don't always have the answers, even when the kids I work with really want them.  Sometimes the kids do try pushing my buttons, as well as my co-workers just to see how far we'll let them go.  On Friday afternoon several of the kids tried pushing my buttons, and learned that not only do I have a Mom voice and won't let them get away with certain things.  One of the kids even asked me why I smile and laugh so much.  It's harder than you'd expect to explain that smiling and laughing is a good way to remind yourself that even when you do have to be serious about certain things,that it's also okay to have fun.

Every few days I find myself stopping for a moment, looking up, then carrying on with dealing with a situation where I do need wisdom from God to get a kid to react to a situation in a positive way or do what they are supposed to do.