Two summers at SpringHill

These two summers of working at SpringHill there have been a lot of things that I've been exposed to and have learned.

Last summer was the summer that I learned what God's voice sounded like to me.  It was then I learned to listen to Him and what he was telling me.  It was at the end of the summer that I began to trust God's plan for me, and that he will provide what I need and when I need it.

This summer, I've come to realize that since the last two weeks of last summer, God has been working on getting me to trust his plan and the fact that he will provide jobs and everything else I need when I need it.  This has been evident in the way he has sent me from ice cream shop to Khol's to Minnesota to SpringHill in the past year.  There's no way I could have planned that.  There is also no way that I could have predicted that this was how things would happen.

I still may not know what's next after all the kids leave SpringHill.  Whatever God's plan is for me will make sense as these next two weeks come to a close.

Last summer I loved every minute spent with campers.  This summer, I've been doing the same.  What I didn't expect this summer was that I would realize that I would start to realize that I wanted to give being a TST Crew Chief a try until I was asked by one of the TST assistant directors if I wanted to fill in when they were short handed on female crew chiefs.  So, for the next two weeks I'll be crew chief Erin instead of CoCo's cookie monster.  I have no idea who my kids will be, or what they will be like these next two weeks, but I do know that whatever happens, it will be an amazing experience that I will never forget.  I am also certain that God waited until now to make me a crew chief for a reason.  Whatever the reason, I'm sure that I will learn so much.

And Then It Hits You

These past two weeks have been rough at times, but rewarding in so many ways.  Before I get to far, if you haven't read my previous post here, go read it now.



Now that you've read it, or maybe even re-read it, the story continues.

Last week I wasn't operating at 100%  because I was dealing with a cold.  If you've ever dealt with a cold while working at camp when you don't get enough sleep, you know that it isn't fun at all.  Besides a lack of sleep and a cold, I spent much of the week feeling useless with the cabin I was assigned to and struggling with understanding my worth.  All of this after handing the struggle of understanding my worth over to God on Monday afternoon.

Fast forward to July 9.  During worship night with the high schoolers, I stood in the back, worshiping and praying about this whole struggle with my self worth.  I still remember crying a little during "Oceans".  It was just one of those moments where I realized that God was allowing me to learn to let go of those feelings of worthlessness that bubble to the surface at times.

By Friday morning I was okay with letting God and everyone else love me and had come to a place where I felt like I had taken another step forward.  Sometimes just a few hours of sleep combined with another member of the summer staff handing you a heart shaped pancake with chocolate chips makes a world of difference.  The moment that I was handed that pancake, I realized that God was speaking through a co-worker.

By Friday night my family had arrived for family weekend, and I was feeling good about the weekend to come.  Being able to share a note that a camper had written me before she left with my parents was great, and so was re-reading it.  Realizing that God had spoken through me to her was something that meant so much.  And in re-reading that note, I remembered that sometimes we don't realize that God is working through us.

This past week was one of stark contrast to the week before.  Not only did I have a good week in the kitchen, I also had realized that there will still be days when I feel worthless, but that in those days God is willing to take that from me and love me for who he created me to be.

This morning, I woke up to realize that it had rained, and was still drizzling out.  Friday's are the relaxed day in the Copper Country Kitchen, and so I was looking forward to the relaxed feeling, getting work done, and getting time with the rest of the summer kitchen staff.  It was as I was in the Copper Country kitchen that I talked with one of the cooks who I get along with well and with the summer staff.  It was during a conversation with the summer staff that I found out that one of the guys is going to be a counselor this next week.  This was after another one of the male summer kitchen staff spent half the week being a counselor for half weekers.  This got me a little down simply because it meant that I wouldn't see as much of him, and the kitchen staff that is going to be a counselor this next week is someone that I get along with well.

Before I knew it, one of the annual kitchen staff had called the Copper Country kitchen from the New Frontiers kitchen to ask me if I was willing to come down to New Frontiers to fill in for the annual baker that only bakes for New Frontiers.  Of course I was willing, so I grabbed my clipboard and waited for my ride down to the New Frontiers kitchen after having said goodbye to the Copper Country kitchen staff for the day.

It was in me heading down to the New Frontiers kitchen that I set off a chain of events that I couldn't have predicted or stopped if I had wanted to.

Having arrived in NewFro, I got to work on the rice crispies.  While I was working away, one of the annual staff came over to let the high school camper helping me know that it was time to eat.  Of course the annual kitchen staff saw me and asked me if I was a TST (aka high school camper).  My answer was, "Nope.  I have a name badge." and kept working.  Somehow during that time I managed to miss my chance to eat breakfast.  By the time I realized I had missed my chance to eat, it was to late, and I was feeling a bit frustrated and grouchy.  Not being recognized as a member of the staff and missing breakfast after not having gotten enough sleep was not a good combination.

Post rice crispies I started working on the cupcakes for this weekend.  It was then that frustration with the fact that I was watching other summer kitchen staff get the chance to be a counselor while I wanted to get the chance to be a counselor but wasn't getting the chance started to get to me.

On top of it all, I didn't have any of the summer kitchen staff there to talk to.  I felt a bit lonely because everyone else knew each other and were having fun with each other, but I felt like a fish out of water.

What happened next was something I didn't expect.  A couple of activity staff came in to help in the kitchen, and a couple of them were told to help me.  The kitchen director brought them over and let me know that they were here to help me, and of course tired, grouchy, annoyed, hungry, lonely Erin had a melt down.  Tears came out and I couldn't help it.

Of course Michelle, the kitchen director, grabbed me and gave me a giant hug that helped.  She also got me out behind the kitchen for a while so I could just get away from the chaos of the NewFro kitchen.  [If you're reading this Michelle, THANK YOU!]  After all that I went back into the kitchen and got back to work.  Having mixed the brownies and put them into the oven, I realized that I was thirsty and headed out to the dinning hall to get something to drink.  It was there that one of the special needs (not from TST) counselors who my family already knew appeared and asked me how I was doing, which set off another bout of tears.  This was fifteen minutes before I would sit down to eat lunch.  Of course she gave me a hug and loved on me, which I needed at that moment.  By the time I was done eating, it was time for me to leave the kitchen for the day.

By the middle of this afternoon/early evening, I realized that through all of today I was just struggling to figure out what God was trying to show me.

That's when I realized that the call from Heather that took me to NewFro was a reminder that I might not be good at everything, but I know how to do something well enough that Heather thought to call me.  She called ME.

It was then that I realized that God was trying to remind me that I'm not perfect, but he still loves me and calls me to be his child.

Sure, there were things today that annoyed me.  Yes, I was tired.  And I felt out of my element in the NewFro kitchen.  But there was something about the experience that made me want to keep working here.  It reminded me of just how much God loves me and how he'll use me in ways that I don't expect.

It was as I sat doing laundry with co-workers and reading the love is patient passage of the Bible, that I realized that in the last two weeks God has been breaking me down to build me back up in ways that I may never understand.  Not only has he been breaking me down just to build me back up, he is also so patient when I'm running around like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to find him, and that he loves me more that I'll probably ever understand.

I'm sure that I'll still have the bad days.  Knowing that even on those bad days I have an amazing God to turn to and co-workers who care enough to nearly force me to sit down and eat, hug me, and tell me that I am loved, is enough to get me to a point when I can sit down and just be with God.

Under Construction

Discipleship is something that I was so unsure of last summer.  I wasn't sure how to disciple the girls that I was working with.  I wasn't always sure if I was having an impact on the kids during the times where we didn't have planned activities.

Discipleship is something that I don't always know how to do with each of the campers I spend time with.

The past two weeks I loved spending time with the girls I worked with.  I didn't always know how I could help them see God in their lives.  But I kept on spending time with them, knowing that the time I would spend with them could be the time that they might remember later in life as a time that they saw God at work.

Discipleship isn't always about teaching others--sometimes it's about spending time with God.

It was tonight during discipleship with my cabin that we walked over to the Storybrook.  For a time we sat in the woods with sharpies and rocks, writing the things that get in the way of our relationship with God.  I didn't have the largest rock with me, but I still managed to put several things on that rock.  Having walked to the dock of the Storybrook pond, and the girls had sat down, I walked towards the shore.  It was there that I stood for a moment, asking God to take those things on that rock from me, before I chucked the rock into the pond.

At the same time there was machinery working on something at adventure tower, which was right behind where I sat, listening to God speak.  It was then that I realized that God was telling me that I was still "under construction", but that in being "under construction", he was working through me to show these girls to God.

Discipleship isn't all about being perfect, having the right words, or knowing exactly what to do in every situation.

Discipleship is about being who you were meant to be and showing the kids who God is through your own personal struggles.

The Unsung Heroes

During the past week at camp, I was sitting with the summer kitchen staff on the deck of the Copper Country dinning hall, and we had a conversation that not everyone would ever think about having.  We talked about the unsung heroes of camp.

When you think of camp, you probably think of the fun activities, the counselors that take care of and live with the kids, bunk beds, not so hot mattresses, not getting enough sleep, and lots of grilled/fried food.  You might think about the people who run activities like boating/water sports, wall climbing, swimming/life guards, and other activities that could be dangerous no matter how well trained the staff is.  My question is how often do you think of the kitchen staff, the nurses/infirmary staff, the office staff, the grounds crew, the staff that work the camp store, those who sort and get the mail to campers, or the office staff?

Think about camp staff this way:

Without the infirmary staff/nurses, who would make sure that your child's meds were safe and that they got their meds when they needed them?  What would happen if your child had an allergic reaction, broke a bone, or got sick?

What would happen without the office staff?  Who would answer any and all phone calls?  Who would answer all the e-mails?  Who would do all the paper work that has to happen?

If there was no grounds crew, grass would not be mowed, no weed whacking would happen,  no weeding would be done, no one would fix buildings.

Without accommodations, no building would be cleaned.

Without a kitchen staff, what would campers and staff eat?  How would they have the energy to run around having fun at camp?

Without the camp store staff, no one could buy stuff from the camp store.

Without people to sort and pass out mail, you couldn't send a letter to the person you knew that is a camper or a member of the camp staff.

When it comes to camp staff, no one position is better than another.

Here at SpringHill, there isn't one member of the staff who is better than another.  As a staff, each of us have a different role.  Some of us bake cookies.  Some of us fry stuff.  Some of us serve food.  some of us do office work.  Some of us work on the grounds.  Some of us take care of campers.  Some of us deal with sickness, broken bones, allergies, and medications.  Some of us run activities.  We all play an important role in campers lives.

This past week, the rest of the summer kitchen staff and I talked about how without any single one of us, without the rest of the staff here at SpringHill, nothing would run as well as it does.  As a group, we agreed that there are certain "departments" at camp that tend to be forgotten on a regular basis.  We called the people that work in these areas the unsung heroes.  These are the people that are rarely thanked for their hard work, who are forgotten about, and who aren't always seen as equal to the counselors.  These are those who work in mail, who work at the camp store, who work in the office, who work in the infirmary, and those who work in the kitchen.

Last summer, I rarely heard a thank you from anyone for the hard work that I put in in the kitchen, and I was okay with it most of the time.  There were times when I'd look around on closing day, and see all these parents saying thank you to the counselors.  I never heard a thank you from a parent last summer.  The highlight last summer was a Friday morning when I was sweeping the dinning hall floor, and a group of boys came over to say thank you, and one of them proceeded to shake my hand and give me a hug.

This summer, I've been lucky enough to get to go out into the dinning hall most every day during lunch to hand out dessert to the campers and counselors.  Seeing the faces of fourth through sixth graders light up when they saw the dessert I was delivering to their table has already been more than enough of a thanks for the number of hours I put in on a daily and weekly basis.  Just yesterday, as I said goodbye to the girls I had worked with for the past two weeks, one of the girls handed me a note she had written.  She told me to wait to read it until later.  After the girls were gone, and I was standing around waiting for the high school staff end of week meeting to happen, I read the note, and began crying.  She had written a note just to thank me and tell me how I had helped her in her faith walk.  Reading that note was a reminder that even when I don't get thanked by campers and/or parents, I still can have an impact on the people around me by showing up and being myself.

The next time you pick a child up from any camp, or are at a camp for any reason, say thank you to the staff.  Be sure to thank all of the staff.  Most of all, be sure to thank the unsung heroes.  After all, these are the people who make the parts of camp that no one thinks of as just important as the counselors.